This is the letter I’ve been waiting to write to you, because it feels like a huge crossing point. Ok, it doesn’t just feel like it, it is. You see this has been a long time coming- I am in the process of splitting up with my partner of 17 years. My daughter’s father is moving out of our home at the end of the month.

I needed to tell her first. Of course. And that happened last week. It’s been hard. We never married, so there isn’t the legal stuff and we’re working it out between us. That part is a relief. Well, it’s all a relief.

I’m so relieved that my gal and I are staying in our house. She is excited to “take over” and move into his previous office and have a bigger bedroom. This week started with it looking like we might be moving too and that really had me undone. I was not ok. To have move - the looking, applying, packing, decluttering, transporting, unpacking, figuring out a whole new way to live in a new home, setting up utilities, address changes, and then rewiring my brain as the flow that was automatic from how I brush my teeth to how we drive to school would change and need new pathways created in our brains was just too much to consider. Oh, and on top of that, right now, real estate is up 40% here and rents are more than NYC and there is very little available. It doesn’t help that our local beach was rated #2 in the country. But dang, it was super healing to take a long walk alone on it Monday morning.

(Yes, I’m making my self care a priority right now, thanks for wondering and I have a magnificent circle of support around me.)

Whew. But it’s all working out for us to stay, heal and expand.

I have to admit, living with someone who has not been… shall we say, “not that into me,” for quite a while (covid extended that a lot) has brought me some good old imposter syndrome over sharing with you. I’m all about your home supporting and loving you, and yes, I do feel that so much from my home but I had a human that did not. And when I have taught my clutter class, the topic of people being the biggest clutter for bringing down your energy comes up. But I have to admit that I have skirted that issue lately because I was living it, and didn’t feel I could share that much publicly at the time.

But I’ve got plans! I’m about to embark on my own intentional process of reclaiming my home. It’s a personal and private process that so many of us do alone and don’t talk about and don’t see others doing it. I’m excited and nervous about sharing my own process, because it’s not just about expanding into our home, it’s about releasing and decluttering all the little ways that I compromised and accommodated and gave away little pieces of me.

I feel like Swiss cheese. (which, turns out, is really an American cheese and not Swiss at all- new knowledge from my Swiss Goddess friend Elaina) I gave away little balls of myself and now I’m calling all my cheese balls back by reclaiming my home. I’m planning on doing it as a series on my YouTube channel.

As I pause, I can feel someone wondering about by gal. She’s doing ok. It’s hard, it’s change. She got to go to see her Dad’s new house and her new bedroom that is close to ours so that helped a lot. She’s going to be with me most of the time and have fun dates with dad. She’s excited to have two bedrooms to decorate. I wonder where she gets that from ? Lol… I’m so proud of her. She’s having such a big year that started with going to a new school from pandemic homeschooling. And I’ve been working really hard on our connection. I have to admit, that in all my life right now, I feel like the one thing that I feel like I’m at my best with is guiding and supporting her through this time in her life, mostly being the mom she needs me to be, which is not always being the mom she wants me to be.

I take a deep breath. I feel so much energy opening up, and the words here flowing for the first time in a while. I’m ready for this next chapter, this 50th decade of my life that started a couple of weeks ago. I have a beautiful website in the works and it’s going to have a blog and all my courses on it in one place. Happy dance!

If you have made it this far, both in the email and on the journey with me, thank you. I am so grateful to have this connection with you and I’m WILDLY excited to keep going and see what happens for us.

So much love.
Bliss to you, Kristy

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